I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
