I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
