Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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