My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
