Having a random hookup so left but love u
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
