just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
