Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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