It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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