I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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