Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
