he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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