Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
