We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
