oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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