Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
