Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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