I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
