What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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