I feel great
I just peed on a car
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
