I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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