i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
