why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
