yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
