He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
