I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I can't turn off my feet"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
