you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
