If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
