Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I want to fling myself into the sun
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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