i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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