It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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