He uses pillows to masturbate.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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