worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
