I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
The adults are the big ones right?
I had to cum in my sink.
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