oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
