wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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