i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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