im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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