Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
