I'd wear matching sweaters with you
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
