i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
