I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
