I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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