..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
