I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
