Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Buhtt sex?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
