A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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