Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I love having hate sex.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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