found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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