So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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