I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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