i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
false alarm. still invincible.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just forgot I was standing up.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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