Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
