ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
