How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
